Long distance love in The age of corona

Unfortunately, the world has been hit by a monster called the Coronavirus, changing at a rapid rate all the life models we're all used to. Fortunately, or not, love in all its original naivety happened to show its face, a little confused at first and still very shy, almost like an innocent convict who saw the light of day after his release and a big public apology on the pages of a newspaper no one reads anymore. 

I warned you right from the start that changes inside of relationships will cost us more than Coronavirus itself, and especially those within ourselves, as it is widely acknowledged that a horrifyingly high percentage of people are not able to be alone with themselves, so their true faces decorated with long time buried frustration and personal resentment are slowly swimming out on the surface, that displays misogyny in the slightest sense. Unfortunately, this strain of people is at the same time stunned by the desire to feel even some of that shyly pleaded love, while on the other hand they float in the unconsciousness of not having the capacity to do so. Because to feel love is both a gift and a bloody job and you have to get your hands dirty. An even greater skill is giving it unconditionally.

As in a child's play, someone turned off the lights and shouted loudly “the Coronavirus!”, so we all ran home and forcibly, for the sake of common sense, remained locked in the same. And so it happened that some stayed with those they were forced to stay with, some finally got a chance to spend more time with a loved one, and some remained physically cut off from each other, in the spirit of a roughly unpleasant term of social distance. But the instant age has its great advantages, and one of them is the Internet itself. The Internet as an escape, the Internet as a salvation, the Internet as a new way of maintaining connection and love - a respirator for love.

 Some have already had some background skills and knowledge in successfully maintaining a long distance relationship, some are learning on the go, but as with everything here, there are rules, a recipe, a formula that must be adhered to in order to not only maintain the whole relationship, but also preferably upgrade it to that cathartic moment when we will be able to look the other person in the eye and in 3D, to feel someone’s scent again, and to remember those tiny little mimics and movements for that only we know its true meaning.

The first and most important thing is not to experience this as a handicap, but to see what the best the distance has to offer. Believe it or not, completely paradoxically, it is freedom. The freedom to say in a more relaxed way and show what you feel at a safe distance. Because, as lively or magical as it is, live meetings also carry a greater responsibility, where spoken word with complete body language cannot be erased and corrected as in a chat or video call. So relax, give yourself the freedom to be honest and finally wash your dirty laundry, or throw away what is unnecessary.

The next thing is creativity. An ingredient so essential to the survival of any relationship that it is simply unthinkable to build one without it. Now is the time when apart from the emotional, your mental capacity needs to get in the loop with love and listen better to yourself and the other side in order to keep the communication itself exciting and reassuring enough. Because laughter, understanding and support have never been more needed than these days.

Listen to yourself better. Listen to your loved one as well. Try to remotely master the art of understanding and respecting diversity, the harshness of compromise, and learn when to say the famous "I love you" and when to just shut up. Too much of anything leads to nothing, don't shower your companion with a mass of empty emotions, emoticons, gifs, pathetic quotes and prose songs. Fear is in all of us. More different types, especially the one from the loss of a loved one. But it is easier and more dangerous to lose yourself, your integrity and your dignity. Do not pull on someone’s sleeve to reaffirm your affection. Don’t lie to yourself in the first place that you are not to do it cowardly. Train emotions and reason as your own personal sports team. And above all, don't lose yourself in the idea of ​​love. Because I noticed a long time ago, most relationships are based on an idea, not true emotion. If you are in this group that loves an idea and not another human being, the only way you should love without any conditions and without any expectations, then you are on slippery ground, where you will probably have to take a few steps back as if in an old Ludo or “Man, don’t be mad” board game, and go back to yourself, and you might fall out of the game, it's up to you.

But if you are the lucky ones who have perfected and refined the craft of love before Corona, chances are that this isolation will only bring you a handful of new insights, solidify the relationship as well as give you more material to make that meeting in life after Corona truly special.

The greatest art that love carries with it is the art of acceptance. Acceptance of oneself as a whole, and only then, of the beloved being is unchangeable and only exactly as one is. For a healthy relationship it is necessary for everyone to be first and foremost sufficient to yourself, some can be too much for themselves too, trust me, I know it well, and to be there both because you want to be, and not because you have been connected by the lack of some personality parts missing. This is a hard-to-learn lesson, I know, but easier to master when you're not physically present at times.

Otherwise, separation also has its charms, such as the nourishment of a healthy lack of someone and the desire for the physical presence of a loved one. Think about it, work on yourself, listen to old, good corny love in the right way, and for god's sake, be honest with yourself and others. For true love will remain and survive, and even some new ones will be born, why not, but the skill and art of communication will remain as a perfected tool of vital importance for any relationship.

It's not a shame to honestly love someone, it's a shame to think you don't need it.